i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
