That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
