Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
