I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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