I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I love having hate sex.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Are my feet made of real feet?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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