They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
50% drunk capacity currently
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
