Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
