I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
