He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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