perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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