I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
