the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you made out with another girl for some wings
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
