do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
