im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
