i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize