that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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