Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
