I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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