they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
