My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
