Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
