Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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