i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
