You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
