i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
