dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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