i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
