rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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