I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
