I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
