Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Say something about gay babies.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
well you can't waste a boner
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
