Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
