We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
