Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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