So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
