Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
