well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
