What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
