I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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