He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
