That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
