Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
