What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
