Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
