My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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