oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
