I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize