Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
only if we run a train.
done.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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