She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
