i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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