I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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