Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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