ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
