So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize