I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Panties = found
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
