No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
