My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
