my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
